Hannah Murray has revealed that she experienced a psychotic breakdown after becoming involved with a wellness cult in 2017, describing the period as one she could not have anticipated.
In an interview with The Guardian, the former Game of Thrones actor reflected on how easily people assume such experiences are avoidable. “It’s easy to go, ‘Well, that would never happen to me,’ but we do ourselves a disservice when we start saying that, because you don’t know,” she said.
Murray also discusses the experience in her upcoming memoir, The Make-Believe: A Memoir of Magic and Madness, explaining that she “had no idea [she] was going to go through any of the things in the book.”
Hannah Murray, best known for her roles in Game of Thrones and Skins, said she was introduced to an alleged wellness cult by an “energy healer” she met through a personal trainer.
Speaking about the experience, Murray explained, “I would’ve assumed I couldn’t, that I was safe. I was well educated, from a middle-class family; everything should have been fine,” adding that she once believed, “I’m smart. I make good choices. Well, I made terrible choices,” while stressing the importance of understanding why people become involved in such situations rather than dismissing them.
The actress, now 36, said the introduction came via an “energy healer” connected to her personal trainer while she was working on the film Detroit.
Hannah Murray described her experience during the alleged wellness cult involvement as deeply unsettling, saying the environment carried an unusual emotional intensity.
“My own experience felt highly eroticized, without anything explicitly physical happening. There was just this charge to the energy in the room,” she told The Guardian.
(Pictured: Murray at the Venice Film Festival in 2018.)
“My own experience felt highly eroticized, without anything explicitly physical happening. There was just this charge to the energy in the room. I think there often is in these hierarchical spiritual organizations,” she recalled.
“I found it interesting that it was a primarily quite female space — the teachers, the healer — and then this man walks in and he’s incredibly confident and magnetic,” Murray, who would name the cult or the leader, added.
“The first thing he says is a joke about sex. From this quite floaty, quite gentle, wishy-washy energy, it was suddenly, like, ‘Hey, I’m here,’ and, ‘Let’s f–k.’ I think he was doing that deliberately.”
Hannah Murray, seen above at the 2014 Sundance Film Festival, was later admitted to a psychiatric unit following a psychotic episode and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
The actress said she spent thousands of dollars in search of “wisdom and specialness” during her involvement with the alleged wellness cult, before her mental health deteriorated and she required inpatient care. She was subsequently diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
Now known for her role in Charlie Says, Murray said she has stepped away from anything associated with the wellness industry.
“Even the tame stuff can feel quite distressing. I don’t meditate any more. I wouldn’t go into a crystal shop. I don’t do yoga, because I don’t quite know what might come up that might feel a bit too woo-woo for my personal threshold,” she told The Guardian.
She added that wellness practices are now “pervasive,” noting how often they are casually recommended: “You’ll say, ‘I’m not really sleeping,’ and they’ll say, ‘Have you tried meditation?’ It’s everywhere, seen as an inherently positive solution.”
Hannah Murray, pictured at the 2018 BAFTA Craft Awards, said she was drawn to the promise of wellness practices while searching for a “magic wand” solution to her struggles.
“And there are harmless or positive versions. But as someone looking for something to fix me entirely, a magic wand or silver bullet, the promise felt seductive and addictive,” she said.
Best known for her roles as Cassie Ainsworth in Skins and Gilly in Game of Thrones, Murray has since retired from acting.
Her forthcoming memoir, The Make-Believe: A Memoir of Magic and Madness, is set to be released on June 23.
