Live in the positive; ignore the negative. It sounds so easy when written in such simple terms. It takes practice, but there are ways to control your own emotions, take control of your thoughts, and work through them to overcome any negative thinking.
Below are a few examples to help you on this path to finding your own inner peace:
Emotional Patterns That Will Disturb Your Inner Peace
- Not Forgiving Others
There are times when people betray our trust, or hurt us in some manner. We resent them and the way they made us feel. Unfortunately, most of us have felt this way at some point in our lives; it not only makes us feel bad, but we fill our minds with negative thoughts and emotions.
It is in our own best interest to forgive them this wrong. It is easy to forgive someone, especially if you allow the forgiveness to empower you in some way.
It’s best to think along the lines of “I forgive them so I can move on in my life without the negative thoughts. These thoughts hurt me, which means I am disrespecting myself, just as they disrespected me.”
- Letting the Small Things Matter
Frustration usually means that you are sad or angry over some issue from your past. Unable to let it go, you have not been able to find contentment in your life. Life is way too short to always be irritated; it is stressful, and stress can kill you. Your emotional state will cause your friends and family to suffer also.
Stop and smell the roses. We have all heard that phrase a time or two. When we live in the present we are able to experience and enjoy everything that is happening around us, both good and bad.
- Sadness/ Depression
Life is always going to be like a roller coaster ride – full of highs and lows. Some of the low points will leave you feeling sad (which is normal); when this sadness overwhelms you and you become dysfunctional, it is easy to fall from sadness into a major depression.
Constant negative thoughts coupled with low self-esteem often leads to depression. At this point, there is probably a chemical imbalance in the brain. Pharmaceutical drugs will help alleviate the symptoms of depression, but they will not help you let go of the past and embrace the present the way you should.
- Anxiety
Of all the various dysfunctional states, worrying has to be the most common. We often learn to worry from our family, friends, and the society we live in. We are taught to worry about everything from our grades, to our future, to our health.
Worrying is really pointless. Your mind and body can not tell if you are worrying about today or tomorrow or a year from now – it reacts negatively no matter what you worry about.
When you live in the negative you send out negative vibes, and this just sends them back to you. This can not only hurt you, but can hurt those around you.
- Judging Other People Negatively
It is normal for us to look around and judge what we see and those who we see going about their lives. To be fair, we only see a brief snapshop of these people, so we should not be making assumptions about them.
Most of the time when we judge others we do so in comparison to our own thoughts or actions. For example: “What is wrong with them? I would never act that way, or treat my children like that!”
In order to form realistic judgements of others means that you need to stop and think about the whole person and acknowledge that they are human, too. Maybe they are having a bad day; or maybe they lack basic parenting skills. You just don’t know what they are dealing with, unless you are living their life.
Just as you can judge others as dysfunctional, you can do it to yourself, also. You can actually begin to justify it in your own mind that other people are better than you are. This is as unrealistic as you judging others.
Negatively judging others is an emotional dysfunction that can be overcome: all it takes is to take yourself out of the picture when connecting with other people. They do not live your life, and you do not live theirs.
- Jealousy
Envy closely follows having negative thoughts about others. Jealous people often delude themselves into believing that what someone has is something they should also have: it may be strength, it may be a happy relationship, it may be money, or a job. Jealously is a normal reaction, but left to constantly fester, it becomes a self-harming emotion.
Most gossip is started because of jealousy; defaming others seems to be a good way to hurt them. Done as a means to boost their own self-esteem, this is a very unhealthy and often unsuccessful way to do so. The only way to gain confidence in yourself is to focus on yourself, not bringing other people down. If you feel jealousy building, let it come, then let it go. You will be happier in the long run.
- Holding On To Guilt
Feeling guilt over your past mistakes will lead to nothing but negative thoughts. Move past the guilt and learn from your mistakes. Stop wallowing in your own regret and shame.
Everyone makes mistakes, some worse than others. We need to let the mistakes go or else we will never grow. Guilt is good because it teaches us shame and regret; however, we must let it be a temporary state of mind that will motivate us to go on to more positive ways of living.
Holding on to those feelings of guilt, regret and shame will leave you emotionally dysfunctional. Learn from past mistakes; show remorse by taking steps to correct the mistake; continue to look for ways to avoid making the same mistake again. Learn to forgive yourself and you will be able to move on with your life.
- Feeling Offended
It is perfectly normal to feel offended at times. Unfortunately, some people are addicted to feeling this way. Why should we let what someone said make us suffer inside? This is something we bring on ourselves. If someone is rude to you, you could get offended and all upset over it, or you could stop and think that the moment was a reflection of them, not you. It was their thought, emotion, or whatever they were living at that exact moment.
There are too many negative and unthoughtful people in our world, don’t let their behavior influence the way you feel.
Some people even go as far as blaming other people for the way they feel. This is a very dis-empowering feeling. Why give your power away to these people? By taking responsibility for your own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, you empower yourself to be who you really want to be. Freedom comes when you take full responsibility for yourself, knowing you are in control of the way your life evolves.
- And Finally…
Our emotions reflect our state of mind, some of these will pull us from our content lives and interrupt our sense of inner peace. If we continue living with these self-harming emotions we deny ourselves the proper mental care we need. In today’s ego-based, spiritually-disconnected society negative thoughts are seem as normal, they are not! Banish the negative thinking, take responsibility for your own life, and overcome your dysfunctions. Do it for yourself.
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