Sometimes it takes people many years to realize that they simply aren’t happy. Tragically some people may go their entire life without even noticing that day after day they are mostly unhappy, dissatisfied and most certainly disillusioned. There’s so many ways that toxicity can affect us – work, friendships, relationships to name just three of the most common – but once people who are unhappy realize their condition the potential for a new beginning is genuinely astonishing. Here’s five of the main warning signs that perhaps your life might need a major work over.
1. Feeling Constantly Bored And Lacking Stimulation
So often we’re simply accepting of the ‘inevitable’ reality of the day to day grind, where each passing day seems just like going through the motions. Before long years might have passed, of just accepting that this is the way things just are and that challenging this status quo is irredeemably impossible. Even people in high flying jobs that generate significant material success will likely feel this at some juncture, it’s much more common than you may think.
Accepting that you are bored of the routine is only part of the issue, the real way to find a solution is to kick oneself into stimulation and pursue those ambitions that you daydream about. Life is your own story and only you can write it, so if you’re unhappy in what you’re doing – why not take the plunge and take control of the narrative?
2. You Feel Trapped
Often this is what prevents people from asserting the point above – you might feel that you’ve spent so long in your cycle that breaking free is doomed to forever be that consistent daydream. In many cases this comes down to societal norms – the feeling that we are expected to follow the assumed pattern of life (education, career, family, retirement etc.) and that taking our own tangent would make us some kind of pariah.
Well you’re only a pariah if people see you as one, and those who may cast doubt over your desire to break free and choose your own path are often toxic to your own happiness. Many times people are happier when they start of by making small shifts in their lifestyle that lower their exposure to negativity and instead open them up to positive, stimulating energy. To use a simple metaphor – life should be a roller-coaster – not a roundabout.
There’s good reason that more and more people are reporting themselves as feeling overly anxious to their doctors. Unhappiness in a lifestyle breeds a persistent and highly toxic form of self doubt and lack of self worth that typically manifests itself through anxiety. All too often we attribute our anxiety to depression, when it may in fact be a psychological warning sign that you simply aren’t doing what you really desire to in your life.
Anxiety can become a crippling condition and will only ever be alleviated by addressing the cause. Often when people make shifts in their life they will feel anxious because it is unusual to them and that little devilish voice in the back of ones mind will keep saying that they are doomed to failure and to stop rocking the boat. That little devil can be controlled by learning how to calm oneself mentally and physically, for some people this might be running a marathon, for others in may be relaxation therapy. Usually the best solution is a mix of exercise, meditation and anything else non toxic that makes you feel good.
4. Persistent Insecurity
The roots of insecurity essentially lie in us not being truthful to ourselves. Our emotional needs and desires change constantly and for example in a relationship it is all to easy to settle into a steady equilibrium that isn’t capable of satisfying these emotions as they shift and bend.
‘Going with the flow’ or ignoring what we truly want is simply dismissing ourselves and our self esteem. In time this will breed insecurity as we are essentially forcing ourselves to play a part that is alien to what we truly aspire to become. Insecurity can be overcome by being truthful and permissive to what we want out of life, and is a major first step along the path of realizing these ambitions.
5. You’ve Just Got That Feeling In Your Tummy
How many times have you had that ‘gut feeling’ that something isn’t right? How many times have you acted on ‘gut instinct’ even when it’s contrary to subjective rational analysis of the situation? Most people will answer that they do so very rarely, and this runs just as true for having that feeling that all is not well within our life.
If something doesn’t feel right it rarely is, the tricky part is assessing the situation and finding out exactly where the problem lies. Try to take time out to reflect on yourself and your world and go through what makes you feel genuinely happy, and why. Make a list if you need to, it’s a useful point of reference for when you start to realign your life and to marvel at how much better things have become.
Start slow and get used to the feeling of taking positive steps to improve your life balance. Find satisfaction in the progress that you make through these kid-steps and you’ll be amazed at how much better even the slightest change can make you feel.
Listen to yourself and appreciate what you are hearing, because that’s the voice of positive change and it’s hiding somewhere inside all of us.