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It’s safe to say that love and hate are probably the two most powerful and polarizing feelings in the world. Either of these emotions can affect you and take you by surprise, and can sometimes have a negative impact on your life.

It’s common to experience both hate and love at the same time. Sometimes, this combination of feelings is directed toward the people we care for the most.

So, how can you learn how to get rid of the hateful feelings that you may be dealing with on a daily basis? It can definitely be a challenge.

After all, you can become derailed your way to a professional or relationship-related goal. People come in and out of your life. The joy that you once felt could turn into sadness due to life’s circumstances. When you fall out of love with someone and your opinion of them takes a turn for the worst, you may feel that you’re being kicked in the gut. You may also feel an overwhelming sense of self-doubt and internal conflict when you’re trying to sort out your feelings. However, these experiences don’t have to be so detrimental for you.

Remember that you’re living your life in the process. Just because something negative happened to you in the past doesn’t mean this negative thing has to be a part of your future. Now, you’re faced with the choice of putting your emotional energy in the right place.

Now you have to ask yourself some serious questions. Are you going to blame yourself every time something doesn’t go right in your life? Are you going to let the past defeat you? Are you going to carry the hatred connected to your past mistakes into the life you’re trying to live now?

The good news is, you have the power to answer all those questions with a determined “no.” Remember that failure is just feedback. You decide how you’re going to move forward. It’s best to learn to put the past behind you after you’ve learned your lessons and have learned to accept your mistakes.

Here are 6 effective ways to let go of the hatred you may be harboring toward others. When you redirect your energy, you’re bound to get a positive outcome.

1. Use Your Past As Inspiration

Look back at your past and find the strength you need to walk into your future. When you think about a relationship that didn’t end well, friendships that turned sour or a boss who treated you unfairly, consider the lessons you learned during each experience. Use your hindsight wisely as a way to monitor your current actions and ensure you’re making better choices.

2. Get A Stronger “Emotional Frame”

People who cause turmoil in your life are often emotional vampires who attempt to suck all the positive energy out of you. When you’re able to walk away from the situation and keep your feelings intact, it’s a sigh that your emotional frame is getting stronger. The person with the strongest emotional frame is the one who is the least affected by relationship turmoil. It will take some practice, but you can learn, over time, to leave interactions with “emotional vampires” without being negatively affected.

3. Use Your Anger for Good

Don’t spend too much time in self-pity when you’re angry. Instead,use that energy to fuel a project you’re passionate about. Don’t use hatred as an excuse not to move forward with your life. Take the hate, transform it into positive “fuel” and use it to get closer to your dreams and goals.

4. Use Your Hatred As a Reminder

When you’re tempted to wallow in pity and self-loathing, choose to view your past as a reminder of how far you’ve come. You should be proud of yourself for being able to move forward with your life. Accept your past, and be happy with yourself for the progress you’ve made.

5. Remember that Conflict Works Two Ways

It’s easy for us to blame others for our unhappiness, but conflict requires two people. In most cases, the conflict you have with another person is just as much your fault as it is theirs. When you’re willing to acknowledge other people’s faults as well as your own, you’re on your way to humility and healing.

6. Broken Bridges Can Be Repaired

Finally, just because you hate someone now doesn’t mean you’ll never be able to love him/her. The human brain is extremely capable of forgiveness and compassion. People deserve second chances, and no one is perfect. Open yourself up to the possibility of reconciliation, so that you can remove bitterness and resentment from your life.

By: Tamiya King

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