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The wedding day is one of the most important events in someone’s life. Some girls dream of this day and imagine it as perfect as they want, sharing the happy moments with their partner and their family and friends. However, for some others, the wedding day is all about taking a gorgeous photo album and looking perfect.

A cancer survivor took to Reddit to show how far a bride-to-be would go to make sure her entire wedding is a stage for those picture perfect moments.

“I am very good friends with the bride to be, lets call her Karen for simplicity,” the woman wrote under the username of bridesmaidwoes123. “She got engaged about 1.5 years ago and immediately asked me to be a bridesmaid which I was thrilled about (she was my maid of honor for context). To make a long story short I got some real bad news in the past year and had to undergo radiation and chemotherapy.”

Source: Getty Images (Representational Image) | Photo by Slavica

The “traumatic” experience caused her hair to fall out and she mentioned that her hair was very short from her message, posted about 6 months ago. Karen, who’s a nurse, was able to support her through her recovery and in her efforts to stay active in the cancer survivor community.

“About 2 weeks ago Karen called me and told me she was going to take me out to celebrate my remission and end of treatment and had a special surprise for me. I agree and we meet up,” the woman wrote in this hyperlink. “We go to a spa which was super nice and enjoy some skin treatments, massages, and general pampering. At the end of the day she takes me to a special hair salon which specializes in high quality wigs. I am a little taken aback by this because Karen knows that a lot of the work I have been involves psychological treatment in cancer patients and avoiding the shame associated with hair loss for instance. I politely go through the appointment and even try on some wigs although I was quite upset honestly.”

When Karen offered to pick a wig out for her, she politely declined, and by the end of it, all she wanted to do was to forget about the experience entirely. But later, the bride-to-be rings her up and tells her that she can no longer be in the bridal party because the minister thought there were too many people.

“This completely floors me because basically I am her number 2 girl after her sister (who she barely gets a long with),” she wrote. “I call around and it although some of the other bridesmaids are reluctant to tell me anything hint at the fact that Karen was worried about how the pictures are going to look with someone with a bald head.”

Source: Getty Images (Representational Image) | Photo by photoraya

“I was so upset, I tried to call her but she did not respond. I am thinking I am may not go to the wedding but want to make sure I am not overthinking this. Her wedding is in 2 weeks.”

Later on, the woman wrote an update and mentioned that she spoke to Karen, who then claimed that her hair had nothing to do with her being kicked out of the bridal party. “…I still think that was the reason,” the woman shared. “Her wedding is actually in a few hours. I told her that I wasn’t going to go. I did tell her that I was upset with her and that I hope one day she can look back and see that she was being selfish. Sadly she told me more or less that I was being selfish.”

A number of people took her side in the comments, including ObscureYak who said, “…I think brides like this ought to just cancel their weddings and host fancy photo shoots instead. It’s all about the pictures for them. To hell with friends, family, the comfort of guests, etc… It sucks to lose a friend. But then again, she doesn’t really seem like a friend at this point. The phrase, ‘when people show you who they are, believe them’ comes to mind.”

“I thought the point of wedding photos was to serve as a wonderful memory years down the line, but apparently it’s just to look ‘right’ when you show strangers,” commented tmightbehere.

Source: Getty Images (Representational Image) | Photo by Slavica

Talking about how shopping for wigs cannot be casually slipped into a plan between friends, another user wrote, “Wig shopping after cancer treatment seems like something super personal to me. I think Karen should have discussed this with you, before she took you to this shop and tried to buy you a wig. She crossed a boundary here by trying to change your look and your body, when you’ve just been through an experience where you didn’t have control over your own body. Does that make sense?”

Happy for the woman’s recovery, StrangerKatchoo wrote, “Wouldn’t having a healthy friend in her wedding be a great gift? You’re a warrior. Screw the wig. Also, as a minister’s kid, I can safely say that ministers know enough to not stick their noses into bridal planning. So she’s a shit liar and a shit friend.
Congrats on remission!”

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