Whenever we place expectations on others that are clearly unreasonable, and even when we decide to place them under the proverbial microscope, the end result always turns out to be us going through a form of suffering. It’s also no secret that all of us deserve even the most basic things out of relationships in life, such as respect; however, if we begin to count on other aspects as well, we will end up being nothing short of extremely disappointed.
It’s important to keep in mind that every person is on their own separate journey in life, which means that any words and actions that come from them will be a reflection of that very journey. What does this mean for you? Well, it means that if you are looking to have more healthy relationships with people, then there are a few expectations that you should not look forward to receiving from them.
1. Never expect an individual to do what you personally feel is “the right thing” according to the standards and expectations that you have set forth.
It’s a well-known fact that an individual’s ethics and morals all come from a myriad of different factors. These factors include:
The best example of this involves individuals from Asian countries, who often view dogs as a great delicacy. Because of this, they don’t see it wrong to partake in eating an animal that those in the United States consider to be a pet. Another example of this involves an activity such as swearing. Let’s say that a friend of yours may do this constantly, but you choose not to do it. In the eyes of some individuals, they would see your friend as being in the wrong, while in their eyes, you would be in the right. However, just because your friend may swear doesn’t mean that they are wrong, and expecting them to do the complete opposite of what they’re accustomed to will only create more problems than solutions. The best thing that you can do is focus on living your own life and let them live theirs, especially if it isn’t personally hurting you or those close to you.
2. Never, ever expect an individual to be perfect in any way.
You’ve likely heard the phrase “no one and nothing is ever truly perfect.” This statement is absolutely true. Expecting imperfections as being perfect is absolutely normal, but the minute you start chastising someone for slipping up, not only will it cause them to feel really let down, but it will also lead to issues with communication and even strain your relationship with them. On the contrary, it’s best to work hard to discourage others from attempting to become perfectionists. This is not only something that can help increase their overall personal growth, but it can also prevent issues such as the following:
-Various chronic diseases
-Risks/thoughts of suicide
Instead, let individuals make mistakes when they need to, that way they can learn from them.
3. Don’t expect everyone to always agree with everything that you say.
Everyone always has a difference of opinion, it’s just one of the most common facts of life. This means that if someone chooses to challenge something you say, it’s not worth it to get angry with them simply because they may have an opinion that’s different than yours. If we lived in a world where there were no disagreements, things would likely get very boring very quickly. Furthermore, if we lived in a world that had no disagreements, we likely wouldn’t have things like electric cars and solar panels.
4. Don’t hold onto the idea that other people can read your mind.
While some people can easily tell what someone is feeling or thinking, there are plenty of others who do not possess this trait. You may be more sensitive and understanding to others’ feelings, but there will be those who are the exact opposite. Communication is a major key player in this instance. Rather than simply expecting people to know how you feel, verbalize your feelings clearly so that they can fully understand.
5. Never expect anyone to pick you up when you fall down.
Friends and family will typically do this from time to time, but there should never be an expectation that they will do it every time it happens. This will likely be the case if they are dealing with their own personal issues, which makes it important that you learn how to see things from their perspective. If they don’t help you with something in particular, it may not actually mean that they don’t want to; rather, it may mean that they can’t. In this instance, it is a good idea for you to muster up the strength to take on some of these challenges on your own.
6. Don’t always expect someone to understand you.
This particular instance is rather self-explanatory. You, in no way, need to gain understanding from others as long as you understand yourself. When you achieve this, you will no longer be affected by the fact that someone may not completely “get” you.
7. Never expect others to treat you how you treat them.
At some point in your life, you may have heard the following phrases:
-“Do unto others as they would do unto you.”
-“Treat others the way you would want to be treated.”
Normally, you would think that everyone would be adept to follow the message of these quotes, but not everyone is that considerate. Oftentimes, we just need to accept the fact that some people treat us poorly because they may have a poor relationship with themselves. In this case, you should put yourself in their shoes and see their point of view from a stance that is more compassionate. This is the best way to prevent yourself from feeling hurt when someone treats you badly.
8. Don’t expect someone to be the same person that they were a year ago.
It’s no secret that over time, people generally change. This is, oftentimes, based on their life’s circumstances and experiences. Many people fight many different personal battles every single day, and no one understands these battles more than those who are actually fighting them. Rather than judge them, instead concentrate on showing them love no matter who they are and no matter what they have become.
9. Never expect anyone to always have everything together.
We always get thrown different curve balls in our lifetimes, and in the cases of some individuals, it may take them a bit longer to step up to the plate and take a swing at them. Regardless, they always do the best that they can, so the best thing that you can do in instances like this is not to chastise or control them, but rather show them compassion, as well as concentrating on your own style of healthy living and personal growth.
10. Don’t offer love to others if you can’t offer it to yourself.
Relationships always start and end with one particular person: you. This means that in order for you to show yourself love, you first need to cultivate that very thing within yourself, and you can do that by developing a more loving attitude toward yourself. In other words, don’t rely on other people to shower you with the kind of love that you refuse to give to yourself, as this will lead to major breakdowns in communication, as well as strained relationships.