Some Facts About Emotional Manipulation
All humans have a self-centered part of our beings that is called the “ego.” This ego has a habit of manipulation that tricks us in to giving it what it wants. We can use this manipulation within ourselves, or manifest it onto other people. It can be physical, or emotional.
In order to protect ourselves from being manipulated, we first need to identify how people use emotions to manipulate others. Protecting ourselves allows us to completely practice our own free will.
The following list will teach you what to look for in people that try to emotionally manipulate others:
- Your words are twisted and thrown back in your face.
Often, a manipulator will give you a long-winded explanation to cover their true intentions. One example would be if you had a date planned for Friday night and you were stood up. You call the next day and ask, “What happened?”, and you get a response something like this: “I feel so bad about forgetting our date. I should have told you that I am going through a lot of stress right now and sometimes I forget about things. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to put my troubles on you. I guess I should have put my troubles aside for one night, but I didn’t, and I am truly sorry.”
By now you think they are putting you on, but they said they were sorry. If you don’t feel that the apology was genuine, then don’t accept it. If you do accept it, know that you have just been emotionally manipulated.
- They are over-eager to help you
Watch out for people who are quick to offer their help. If you ask them for help they will willingly agree; if you don’t ask them, they will offer to help anyway. However, if you accept their help and then hear them let out a loud sigh, or show you other clues that they really don’t want to help, then let them know how you feel.
An emotional manipulator will make you feel bad for even questioning their motives. To avoid this problem, just ignore them when they start to sigh, or otherwise show you they really don’t want to help.
- They say something, then deny they said it.
Be very cautious when it comes to those who swear they did not say what you heard them say. They have completely mastered emotional manipulation and know every trick in the book to justify why they are right, and you are wrong.
They seem to have graduated from The School of Liars because they tell lies with a straight face and believe what they say. They even make you question your own memory.
To stop these folks, simple write down what they say, or make sure you have a witness handy. In this way, you will have back up when they try to turn the words on you.
- They try to guilt trip you.
No matter what you do, or what you say, an emotional manipulator knows how to send you on a guilt trip. There is nothing they won’t do to get you going. They have no reason for doing so, beyond it is fun to mess with other people’s minds.
They love to resort to playing the victim in order to get sympathy. They will do whatever they can to get you to support and care for them in their time of need. If you give in and do what they want, they will say they did not really expect any help, nor did they want it. To combat this type of manipulator, tell them you have faith that they can figure things out on their own.
Emotional manipulators do not like to confront problems head on, they go the sneaky route: They enjoy talking about you behind your back, and they love to get other people to say things they cannot say themselves. They look for ways to undermine any plans you have.
If you decide to go back to school, your significant other may be all for it, letting you know they fully support you. However, there will come a time when a school project needs your attention and you will be surrounded by chaos that they will not control. If you mention this fact, you are told that life doesn’t stop because of your school project.
What can be done about this type of manipulator? Not much, you can ignore it, or you can leave it.
- They have it worse than you.
This one is easy to spot: When you mention a problem you are having in your life, the emotional manipulator will have a story to tell you about how they are so much worse off than you are.
When you call them on this, they call you selfish for thinking this way. They are the selfish ones, but they can’t see it. It may be hard to do, but the best way to deal with this kind of manipulator is to get up and walk away. They are nothing without an audience.
- They can lower positive energies.
Human consciousness is interconnected in many ways. This is helpful, but it can also hurt us. An emotional manipulator will sense a room of people who are feeling good about themselves, and he will take the room down to his negative level. They don’t like being alone in their negativity.
Most people will do what they can to disrupt this negative energy flow. The best thing to do if you find yourself around such a person as this emotional manipulator is to get away from the situation. It is exhausting trying to bring back a positive mood, and more so when dealing with this type of abuser.
- There is no sense of accountability.
Emotional manipulators do not like to take responsibility for the things they do. They make life out to be all about what other people have done to them. They will often share personal information in order to draw upon your sympathies.
At first you think you are talking to a very emotionally open, sensitive person, who may even be a little bit vulnerable. You soon learn this is not the truth, but they want you to believe in their lies.
Emotional manipulators never feel vulnerable, because they never do anything wrong. It is best to identify and walk away. Without an audience, they have nothing to say.
- Free from manipulation.
We will all experience an emotional manipulator at some time in our lives. In learning to see how they operate, and what kind of tactics they use to manipulate others, we prepare ourselves for their conniving ways and can avoid the pain they want to share. Spread the word about the ways of emotional manipulators; all together we can show them we are no longer under their spell.
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