In life, there are plenty of things that are completely out of our control. In fact, the only thing we can really control is how we decide to handle the situation. It is the questions that we ask ourselves that drive our responses. When you are having difficulty understanding how to view your problems, ask yourself the following questions.
1. Am I placing the blame for my problems on someone else?
Although it might make you feel a tad better, playing the victim doesn’t change anything in the grand scheme of things. Plus, when you place the blame on others, they are not going to try and help you work through your problems.
2. Am I being too hard on myself?
When you are dealing with several issues at once, it is easy to feel like you are simply not good enough. However, that is completely wrong. If you are trying your absolute best, the best you can do is good enough.
3. What should I be happy and positive about at this very second?
Your greatest chance of overcoming negativity involves your ability to look at things with a positive attitude. When you are solely focused on the bad things in life, it is impossible to find happiness.
4. Is there something I am holding onto that I should let go of?
When you are struggling, it is a good time to look inward and see if there is anything you are holding onto that you need to let go of. While it may be hard, getting rid of this extra baggage will be emotionally freeing and make it easier to focus on your current problems.
5. What problems do I not have that I should be thankful for not having to deal with?
Yes, you may be going through a lot, but it could always be worse. Take a minute and think to yourself, “Who knows what else I could be going through right now?”
6. What have I learned?
Learning from past events and problems will have an impact on how your future goes. While you should definitely live for today, don’t forget about your past problems because they can help create a stronger future for you.
7. Am I putting too many expectations on others?
This correlates with question #1. Don’t put expectations on others that you know are completely unrealistic.
8. Do I need to forgive someone?
When you hold onto anger, it just festers deep inside of you. While you may have been wronged in the past, this doesn’t mean that there are times when a person doesn’t deserve your forgiveness. Ask yourself, “Is there anyone I need to forgive?”
9. Am I placing too many expectations on myself?
Don’t put too much on yourself. This makes life considerably more difficult. Let go of some of your expectations and appreciate the life and relationships you currently have.
10. Is my mind clear enough to deal with this?
When problems pop up, it is not unusual to get mad. However, this clouds your mind and makes it more difficult to deal with these challenges. It is crucial that you focus on things with a clear head.
By: Abra Gordon