First, let’s take a look at what gaslighting is. According to the dictionary, gaslighting is the act of psychological manipulation, intentional or otherwise. The goal is to make the victim question their sanity. Now that you have a clear understanding of what gaslighting is, it’s time to look at 5 major signs your partner is attempting to gaslight you.
1. Constant Apologies
As a victim, you’ll be constantly uttering the s-word for something you believe you may have done wrong, even though you likely aren’t at fault at all. Why? It’s simple. Your partner has groomed you to take responsibility for everything that goes on between the two of you. In fact, you are the one who “likes to keep the peace.” To do this, you go out of your way to avoid upsetting your partner, which often leaves you walking on eggshells. Before long, this behavior has become a habit and eventually, a vicious cycle.
Never be sorry for wanting what is best for you. You deserve it.
2. Impossible Decision-making Abilities
Over time, your partner will have you so intent on keeping the peace and walking on eggshells that it is essentially impossible to make a decision. Instead, all the decisions are left to your partner, which leaves him/ her with all the power and complete control of the situation.
Prince Ea, a poet and filmmaker, recently made a video detailing the real meaning of the classic nursery rhyme, “Row, Row, Row Your Boat.” According to Price Ea, the “boat” refers to your body, while “row” is a metaphor for being the captain of your own ship. Essentially, what the nursery rhyme is saying is that you have to take control of your own life and not allow yourself to be influenced by others. Prince Ea went on to say that while it is okay to allow others to tell you how to paddle or give you guidance, ultimately you have to make your own choices.
It’s time to take complete control of your own life. This is the only one you will get.
3. A Constant State of Confusion
A hallmark of gaslighting involves keeping the victim in a constant state of confusion. As a result, your partner is left to make all the choices. While your instincts are likely telling you something is wrong, once your partner declares your instincts are wrong, you’ll simply concede. Sure, you may feel a bit uneasy about the situation and you may even find it hard to comprehend, but ultimately you go along with what your partner has said. Eventually, your confusion will become all consuming, leaving you questioning your own feelings about all types of topics.
It is time to rebel against repression and set yourself free.
4. Changing as a Person
Chances are good that before your relationship started, you were an outgoing person who loved life. Unfortunately, as your relationship became more and more serious, you have probably lost that lust for life, leaving you with a flat, boring personality.
Typically this change happens very slowly, meaning you may not notice any change in your personality for quite a while. It’s only after a number of months, or even years, have gone by that you may see what is happening and start to wonder what happened to the person you used to be.
Don’t allow yourself to change. Again, you only have one life. Make the most of it and live it to its fullest.
5. Various Symptoms of Withdrawal
As much as you may not like to admit it, when your partner is gaslighting you you will become a hermit and significantly withdraw from society. This is usually became you are so overwhelmed by everything that is happening to you. While people will start questioning where you are, you won’t really understand everything that is going on yourself, leaving you unable to give them an answer.
It’s time to get back out there and start doing things that make you smile.
Keep these acronyms in mind.
Peace: Please enjoy a chosen energy.
Joy: Just overtly you.
Life: Leave injury for enjoyment.
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