How many of your friends are actually frenemies? If you are not familiar with the term, a frenemy is a person who is a friend to your face, but harbors secret feelings of hostility, jealousy, and even hatred underneath the surface. In the end, after sharing some of her deepest thoughts and biggest secrets with your frenemy, he or she will be the one that betrays you the most by disclosing everything you have said behind your back.
A frenemy has the ability to zap you of all your energy by pushing your buttons, undermining what you believe, and causing you to react aggressively.
So, are the people you think are your friends actually your frenemies? Let’s look at the top signs of a frenemy.
1. A frenemy constantly insults others.
For a frenemy, it’s all about putting others down, either through thinly veiled insults or blatant attacks. Which she may simply celebrate your failures secretly, she will also react with glee anytime she sees the opportunity to make fun of you or challenge your abilities.
2. A frenemy is an expert at making you think you are wrong.
A frenemy simply doesn’t believe in giving anyone, even you, the benefit of the doubt. She takes everything personally and has no problem twisting things around to make it seem as if you are to blame.
3. A frenemy requires instant attention all the time.
Frenemies love forming close relationships only seconds after meeting someone. Instead of remembering that it takes time to build a close friendship, she will immediately expect you to become her bestie. To do this, she will stalk you on Facebook and text you repeatedly beginning a few hours after you met to schedule “friend dates”. However, when you need her for something, she’ll be nowhere to be found.
4. A frenemy triggers a nagging feeling.
When you are with a frenemy, you’ll feel something deep inside that makes you question her dependability or whether she has ulterior motives. Pay attention to this feeling and move away from this toxic friendship.
5. A frenemy is an expert as disguising her complaints as humor.
Putting people down is a favorite activity of frenemies. However, when you call her on it, she’ll simply state that it was a joke. She can often be heard saying, “God, no one can ever take a joke.”
6. A frenemy loves to overshare.
A frenemy has no problem telling you her entire life history within a few hours of meeting. She also loves to offer to do things for you, especially if it is something you dread like running to the grocery store. Here’s the thing. She is telling you her life story with the hopes that you will turn around and share yours. She is doing these nice things with the expectation of payback, though she may her payback in the form of attention rather than something tangible.
7. A frenemy love digging up dirt.
When there is negative info to be shared, a frenemy will show up and then look for ways to get more. Why? She loves reveling in others misery, including yours, while pretending to care about your well-being.
8. A frenemy cannot stand to be challenged.
If you ask a frenemy about her behavior, you better take a step back. She is probably going to explode. Anytime you question her, she will act surprised and then be overcome with anger. Of course, she won’t discuss the issue in the end.
9. A frenemy is grossly insensitive.
Are you going through problems? Well, your frenemy will quickly offer advice, though she is secretly celebrating your misfortune. On the other hand, if she is going through problems and you offer advice, she’ll simply brush it off like it means absolutely nothing.
10. A frenemy is an expert at sarcasm.
Frenemies are firm believers in using humor as a way to disguise a hurtful comment.
Now, it’s verdict time. Do these traits describe your “friends”? If so, it is time to put an end to these relationships and start looking for new friends.
By: Abra Gordon